Jenna's Birth Story - Part 2 of 3

From the moment I started considering having my baby at home I knew the journey would be mostly about my walk with God. I knew better than to think that a successful homebirth would be the result of my own physical or mental strength and my hope is that no one walks away from reading this story even remotely impressed with me. The only thing that was within my control was making the choice to trust completely that my Father whose love for me is so complete would carry me from beginning to end. I’m not saying that having a homebirth was the only way I could experience God’s love but the reverse was true for me... purposefully planning adversity in my life helped me work on my fear and trust issues towards Him. I wasn’t testing His love, just finally acting on it.

On to the story... I had tested strep b positive which meant I needed to get some antibiotics before baby was born so Jackie asked to check my cervix to estimate how much longer she had before having to put on the IV. The medicine had to be given at least a few hours before birth so it had time to take effect. I was 7cm and she said it was time to get started. Labor was so strong that the thought of a needle was unbearable to me. All I could think about at that point was “only 7cm!!!!!!”. It’s always disappointing to hear any number other than 10 when you are in that position. I remember telling her “no, I don’t want it!” and she sweetly but firmly said “yes, you do, it’ll be quick”. We had talked and agreed about this at an earlier time so she wasn’t forcing something on me that I didn’t want. She was just helping me be strong in a moment of weakness.


She held the needle in my arm instead of setting it like they do with IVs in the hospital since it was not to be left in. I was in the tub so they held my arm out while the antibiotics were going in. Jim was holding the bag above me and kept telling me how much of the liquid was left. It took all my focus to stay still during contractions while Jackie held the needle in my arm but it was over quickly and before I knew it I had my arm back.

The next 3cm came in the hour to follow and the things I did to cope during that time still surprise me. There was heavy breathing, moaning, some funky dancing type movements (picture me swaying from side to side and up and down) but the weirdest one was this thing I was doing with my hands. I would open then close my hand in a fist with every breath. My left hand was holding Jim’s arm so I would open and close my hand on his arm as strongly as I could. I love that having his arm strongly planted next to me to help me is one of my most vivid memories of that time.


My clarity of mind during transition caught me by surprise since that part was such a blur in my labor with Lucy at a hospital. I was so present, so aware of everything... I remember wondering how Lucy was doing in the living room and praying “God, please help her be ok with whoever she’s with”.


I remember being so unable to continue, so defeated... “I can not do one more Lord, I can’t” just to hear ever so softly “Carrying you in my arms”, “I CAN NOT do this!”, “Holding you close to my heart”.

He will feed his flock like a shepherd
He will carry the lambs in his arms,
holding them close to his heart. - Isaiah 40:11

Read Part 1 of the Story here...