Compassion

I am sitting on my couch holding my sleeping baby and desperately trying to quiet down my cry as my tears are already making a puddle on her arms and I don't want that to wake her.  

I've spent the last hour reading the stories of a group of bloggers who are in India with Compassion International meeting some of the poorest children in this world.  I just read about a 6 month old baby who is left laying alone in a shack ALL DAY while his parents go try to make a living... AND that's when I lost it. 

A few years ago I hesitantly prayed a prayer that I knew if answered would shake my world. I asked the Lord to break my heart for what breaks His and since that time I carry a heavy burden in my heart for the poor, specifically poor children.  He decided to give me a bit of an education on what "poor" really means in countries like India and Africa.  I've learned (from a distance) about "the untouchables" in India... a whole social class considered worth less than animals, about the infants in an orphanage in Calcutta who are not even named because they are expected to die in their infancy so why bother giving then a name?... the stories go on and every time I read or hear one the burden gets heavier and the conviction ever so clear.  

I now understand how people become missionaries, up and leave everything behind to try to help in some way, any way... 'cause the thing is that it is killing me right now to sit here in this crazy huge house on a PotteryBarn couch starring at a wall with a flat screen TV hanging on it and next to a kitchen equipped with a stainless steal refrigerator filled with so much food that some will likely end up in the trash because my family will not eat it before it spoils.  It kills me that God didn't call me into full time missionary work 'cause at least that way I would be getting the satisfaction of knowing I am out there doing something tangible in the midst of it. Instead, he called me to be a mother and a wife and he blessed me with so many resources that often overwhelm me and make me feel unworthy when I see the cards others were dealt... BUT then I think, wait, there is a reason and a purpose for these blessings.  

I am glad this breaks my heart and makes me cry like a child.  I am so glad that I am not oblivious to it and that I am also sitting here looking at a spreadsheet with our budget in it trying to figure out how many more children we can sponsor before it becomes ridiculous 'cause I'm putting us on the red because I can not stand to do nothing. SO, in an effort not to do nothing and because we honestly can not sponsor another child right this moment, I am writing this post to ask whoever reads this blog to pray about it and see if you can receive the blessing of helping out one of these children right now.  If not Compassion, try World Vision, Gospel for Asia, Christian Children's Fund or many of the other honest ones out there trying to make a difference. Even if you already sponsor a child, or many, would you take the time to pray and ask about this?

Humbly asking for your help because I am feeling lead to.