Changes

This is my first post to the blog in several weeks.  I gave up blogging for Lent and it was such a refreshing exercise!  The Lord used this time away from the blog to help me think through the reasons why I blog.  I kept telling myself that I do it as an outlet, to express myself and to document our lives for you girls (Lucy and Jenna) to be able to read it when you are older BUT I now know there was another hidden reason.  The comments that people were leaving me and the feedback I was getting through emails was feeding my pride and taking a life of its own.  I think I was writing with a specific audience in mind and so very slightly twisting or just choosing my words to evoke certain feelings in those reading... feelings of admiration or maybe even jealousy.  I repented of this during my time away from the blog.  I asked God to help me, to fill my cup so I don't need anyone else to admire me, to be jealous of me, to think I am more than I am.  I want Him to be the ONLY source of refreshment of fulfillment. 

I decided to take my blog off the Internet so from now on my posts will be written directly to you girls and no one will read them except maybe your Daddy.  I would like you ladies to know who I am at this age because hopefully I will be a much different person by the time you are 21 or 30 reading back to these "letters"... different because I know God will continue His good work on me. 

I have lots to catch you up on from the last few weeks but first wanted to explain my long absence from writing.  I look forward to this new platform.  It seems completely different from the blog that was published for many to read.  This is just for you girls, my darling daughters.

Mom.