Big Sister

Lucy,

I recently heard about a book called The birth order that talks about how closely a person's personality and inclinations are tied to the order in which they are born amongst their siblings.  Your Dad and I are both firstborns and it seems we fit the firstborn profile to a T.   I used to not agree with this generalizations but the more I see you and your sister interact, the more I think the author of that book knows what he is talking about. 

In my opinion, there aren't definite downsides to being a firstborn, the middle child or the baby of a family... just differences, but being aware of those differences has certainly had an impact in how I treat you girls mainly because I want you to experience some of those carefree/relaxed feelings that come so easily to the younger siblings and I want your siblings to feel some of the sense of responsibility that comes with being a firstborn. 

We have trained you to look out for your sister, to love her, to share with her.   I have loved seeing you develop your patience, your compassion.  I watch you every day as you often put her first and it makes my heart soar with pride and love for you.  I also see how your sister knowing that you always have her back doesn't hesitate before taking risks and has a very laid back/carefree way about her.  This interaction between the two of you is shaping who you girls are becoming and it's good but I'm glad I understand this now.  As a child, I remember worrying about many things.  Things I probably shouldn't have been thinking about... my parent's finances, their health, etc.  It was a burden at that young age and I would love to spare you those worries... at least until you are old enough to handle it. 

Today, we were at the park and Jenna very carelessly drank some but spilled most of her drink.  You watched what she was doing and later on when it came time for you to drink yours you got half way through it, looked at me and asked if it was ok for you to finish it.  I realized then that you were asking me if you needed to give the rest to Jenna since she had spilled hers.  My very pregnant and hormonal self wanted to cry at your selflessness but I just gave you a big hug and told you to drink it all.

I know I worry too much about things I can't control.  It does make me feel better knowing that God had it all planned out when he chose you to be born the first of the Payne children.  He made you wonderfully and it shows!!!!

I love you.
Mom